dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize