Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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