his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize