neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize