worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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