I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
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That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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