Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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