1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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