david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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