We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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