MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize