How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize