i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize