my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
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He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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