I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Even my vagina gasped.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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