What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize