This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize