Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize