it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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