I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
nutella sex= disaster
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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