I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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