I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I intend to get homeless drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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