I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
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She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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