What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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