so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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