I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He did a backflip because drugs
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