it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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