Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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