He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize