pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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