Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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