i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Too much gin, very little bucket
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Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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