I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My vagina is very pro this idea
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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