It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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