just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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