do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dick very happy bro
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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