I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Walk of Shame today included voting.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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