If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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