I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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