Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize