The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize