jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
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I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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