In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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