maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
