Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
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I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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