Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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