watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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