His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize