I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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