bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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