its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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